The Gesture
To step forward to the canvas then back from it
Without making a mark, and to do this
Again and again as the paint on the brush
Thickens, as my eye, my hand, my heart
Refuse to repeat the gesture once made freely
With a synthesis of joy. What Auerbach called
The safety net of manner could be mine
If I admitted it, to break my fall and rest there
Saved by repetition. What you might say
Is 'Nobody paints like him, amazingly prolific
For his age, such energy, such vision', easy words
Like that, but exactly so, I should indeed
Be nobody with nothing left to show but a blank
And vacuous deception. No, I'm not ready yet.
--John Mole
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